Emotional Intelligence: a Simple Exercise for Parents

First you shout, and then you exhale and think: “Why did I flare up so much, it’s okay.” And indeed: our emotions turn on much faster than common sense. That is why it is important to work with them ourselves and help children in this. We talk about how to develop emotional intelligence in order to find a common language with other people, join any society and manage stress in this article.

Emotional intelligence refers to soft skills – flexible skills that do not belong to any one area of ​​​​knowledge, but will be useful everywhere. In fact, these are three whole skills:

  • understand their own emotions and the feelings of others;
  • understand why they occur;
  • be able to manage these emotions.

If all three skills are mastered, we can say that a person has developed emotional intelligence and can use it in practice: in work, study, personal relationships, creativity and self-development.

How emotional intelligence can help your child in school and in life

When it comes to emotional intelligence, many people immediately think of the spy art of captivating people or reading hidden emotions, as in the series Lie to Me. But in fact, emotional intelligence is primarily useful for self-development.

The ability to recognize and understand our emotions allows us to hear ourselves well and separate our desires and goals from those of others. Having established contact with oneself, a person can answer the most important life questions: what is my purpose? Why am I doing? What am I doing? Am I really interested?

When we understand our feelings, when interacting with other people, we do not proceed from the fear of losing relationships, money or comfort, but from our own aspirations. This means that in any situation we act in our own interests, and not in the interests of others – at the same time we do not go over our heads, but remain human. Agree, an invaluable superpower.

How to develop emotional intelligence

Surprisingly, but from myself. If parents are at odds with their feelings, they are unlikely to be able to develop emotional intelligence in a child.

The easiest exercise to start with is called the Emotion Week. Three times a day for a week, write down in a notebook or on your phone what you are feeling now, why you feel it, and how this emotion is felt at the level of the body. Maybe you clench your teeth in anger or pull your head into your shoulders in fear. Or constantly chewing on something to relieve anxiety. Such an exercise will help you accustom yourself to fixing emotions, understanding their causes and noticing how the body reacts to them.

Usually, after a couple of days of keeping such a diary, amazing discoveries begin – it may turn out that you were alarmed all day because of a sideways glance at work and did not even notice it. But the body was constricted, and because of this anxiety, you literally could not take a deep breath and focus on the project. A week is enough to realize how emotions control our behavior and well-being.

When you get comfortable with this diary, try to keep the same entries, but about the child. Observe his behavior and try to carefully make assumptions about his feelings. You can even ask: “Are you worried right now? What happened? And why?” This will not only allow you to track emotions, but also teach you to separate emotion from a person – not “you are angry”, but “you feel angry”.

Emotional Intelligence Frequent Questions

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, assess, and manage the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups. Emotional intelligence is a construct similar to general intelligence. It is measured by tests that measure one’s ability to perceive and express emotion, to understand emotion and emotional knowledge, and to use emotional information to facilitate thought.
Emotional intelligence is important in many aspects of life because it helps people regulate their own emotions and those of others. It also helps with empathy development which can lead to better communication skills.

What are the benefits of emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence has been linked to career success, leadership skills, and better relationships with co-workers and family members.
There are many benefits to emotional intelligence. For example, it can help you be more confident in your interactions with others (especially people who may not share your beliefs), be more successful at work or school (because you’re able to read the emotions of others), have better relationships with friends and family (because you’re able to understand their emotions), feel less stressed out or anxious (because you’re able to regulate your own emotions).

Who can benefit from emotional intelligence?

Emotions play an important role in our lives, yet we often fail to recognize them for what they are. Emotions are not just feelings but rather complex responses to events or situations that involve thoughts and physical reactions as well. They affect how we think, behave and interact with other people.
People who have strong emotional intelligence skills tend to be more successful in life than those who lack them because they are better able to anticipate problems before they arise and respond appropriately when they do happen. This includes maintaining healthy relationships with friends, family members, coworkers or even complete strangers on the street.

How can we improve our emotional intelligence?

Practice makes perfect. The best way to improve emotional intelligence skills is through practice. One way to do this is through meditation, which is the practice of mindfulness in order to focus on one’s emotions and thoughts. Meditation can help make it easier for individuals to recognize their feelings and use positive self-talk in response. Self-awareness is the skill of recognizing one’s own emotions and thoughts, as well as being able to effectively communicate with others about their emotions and thoughts.

Does emotional intelligence have any drawbacks or limitations?

Emotional intelligence is a skill that is hard to measure. It is difficult to know how much of it one has and the level at which they are operating at. Some people are more emotional than others, which can make it difficult to know when they have a high or low EQ.
The biggest limitation of emotional intelligence is that it cannot be measured in an objective way. There are no tests, exams, or measurements that can be taken in order to determine if someone has a high EQ.

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